The Day Nothing Happened

by Thomas Canfield

Monty Python once did a comedy skit about an office worker named Ralph Mellish to whom “Nothing Happened.” Ralph Mellish went about his ordinary, daily events, while a narrator, accompanied by dramatic music, described all of the incredible things that did not happen. (“No blood stained bodies covered with knife wounds. No tell-tale blood spots on his tie.”) I was thinking of Ralph Mellish when reading about the latest Wack-Q-Doodle conspiracy theories regarding August 13. The date is Friday the Thirteenth, and the conspiracy theories describe dramatic events on that date that would make any horror film seem tepid. Yet, the astrological aspects for the day make it seem more like a Ralph Mellish day in which nothing happens.

       The first Wack-Q-Doodle expectation is that it will be revealed that the Speaker of the House will be caught molesting black children, and this will bring about her removal from office. The chart for August 13 does not show any such downfall of a woman. The Moon is in a strong position, rising in Libra. The Moon is opposing Eris, squelching any possible discord, and squaring Pluto, putting an end to any lurid fantasies that may be spread around. The Moon is sextile the Sun and trine Jupiter, which adds to its authority and personal power. It would not be a day for impeaching women.

      The second Wack-Q-Doodle fantasy is that the news about the Speaker of the House will be so horrifying that hundreds of member of Congress, include the Congressional Black Caucus, will switch their parties from Democrat to Republican. Once again, the chart for the day does not show such a dramatic switch. Juno, the asteroid which rules marriage and political connections, is conjunct the South Node, which suggests that mundane matters may be the focus of events. Juno is trine Chiron and sextile Vesta. There may be a political solution to the anti-vaxx problems that have been cropping up. Last year, Chiron and Juno were in opposition for most of the year, and the rise of the pandemic was marked by conflicts between medical experts and politicians. The medical experts wanted strict restrictions on the public, while the politicians wanted to keep the economy going. Now Chiron is in opposition to the asteroid, Vesta, ruler of house and home. Doctors are getting resistance from anti-vaxx people who are getting their information from personal prejudices and not medical sources. Juno may represent the influence of politicians telling people that they need to get vaccinated before the next wave of the virus spreads across the country.

     The third Wack-Q-Doodle fantasy is that once the members of Congress have switched to Republicans, they will install as Speaker of the House a certain former president. Once again, such a dramatic change does not present itself. Juno is squaring Mars and Mercury, and there may be times of angry debate, especially over vaccination issues. However, Juno is sextile Saturn, and that is more of an indicator of stability, calm, and no dramatic change. Juno is in opposition to the North Node and Ceres. It may be more of a time for debate and argument on women’s health issues, such as the proposed Texas law that will offer a $10,000 bounty for anyone who rats on a female neighbor who may have had an abortion. Ceres and the North Node are also squaring Mars and Mercury, and there may be much argument from women who object to being subjected to Wild West justice.

    The next Wack-Q-Doodle fantasy is that the new Speaker of the House will offer irrefutable evidence that the 2020 election was stolen from him. This will lead to a high-speed impeachment or a rapid Supreme Court decision in which the current administration is removed from office immediately. Such a sudden change is definitely in the realm of fantasy, and at the time Neptune will be conjunct Pallas, the asteroid of wisdom. Since they are in the Fifth House, such speculation may be more entertaining than a streaming TV series. However, upsetting the Neptune-Pallas fairy tale is an opposition from Venus in the Eleventh House. In such a position, Venus would rule mass movements inspired by the love of the people. Although 74 million people might cheer on the former president, there are 80 million people who would stand against him. Neptune-Pallas are being hit by quincunxes from the Moon and Sun, which suggests that such a political adjustment has no realistic basis.

     Of course, the final Wack-Q-Doodle fantasy is that with the current administration wiped away, then the former president would be inaugurated again. There might be some debate as to whether he is still President 45, or 46, or even 47. Such numbers may not matter since his political majority would be able to amend the Constitution so that the President could rule for life, and this President would be #1 under the new system. The Sun in the chart would represent the President, and there are a few challenging aspects to the Sun with a wide opposition to Jupiter,  quincunxes to Pluto, Neptune, and Pallas, and a trine to Eris. There may be the usual political attacks and rumors of discord, but not enough to change administrations. Uranus, the planet that rules revolutions, is trine Mars, and there could be threats of violence. However, Saturn is still squaring Uranus, and can serve as a restraining factor. The peacemaker might be Mercury trine the Part of Fortune in Capricorn. with better communication and planning against potential insurrections. Anti-government groups are more divided at this point than they were at the beginning of the year. With FBI surveillance and the closing of internet sites,  there is little opportunity for revolution planning in a secure environment. Another inauguration for the former president was predicted for March 4, and nothing happened. Some of the Wack-Q-Doodle groups suspected it was a trap, and they did not come out to give support. A similar situation may happen on August 13, where Wack-Q-Doodle followers may decide it is safer to stay home and watch the revolution on TV.  They might as well be watching a  mini-series since nothing is going to happen.